For much of my life, perhaps you can relate, I have given too much importance to what other people think. And for that reason, I lacked some degree of inner peace and self-acceptance. I was not at peace with myself. Perhaps you can relate. Let’s see if we can do something about it.
In days of old, people gauged one another’s worth by how many servants they had. A person who only had one servant had too few to gain the esteem of the wealthy or the elite. He was despised. It’s nothing new to feel despised.
Many people today feel worthless or unaccepted, and it may have nothing to do with lacking servants. But there is a perceived lack. People who feel despised may believe that others see them as lacking in some way—beauty, money, fame, power, or intellect (just to name a few).
Perhaps you feel this way—that others despise you or think you worthless. Forget about what others think. Instead, make a habit of esteeming yourself. Fight destructive thoughts and stubbornly refuse to allow distorted self-abuse. Ultimately, your thoughts, and not someone’s opinions, determine how you will view yourself. Make a habit of approving yourself.
Affirm yourself with this exercise: Stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eye (choose the right or the left eye), and speak out loud. Say the opposite of the negative stuff you usually believe about yourself. Verbally endorse yourself, whether for big or small things, even things in the past. Now, you’re probably thinking: You can’t be serious. I’m supposed to stand in front of the mirror and talk to myself. Yes—do it. The result will be a vast difference in your self-perception.
If someone does not approve of us, it probably has more to do with his problems, preferences, or irrational beliefs than with us. From now on, let no one trouble us. If someone wants to reject us, treat us rudely or unkindly, that’s his problem. Those who show their disapproval probably lack the grace that comes with an awareness of their own faults. This deficiency obliges our compassion (for them) and not our flagellation (of self).
It’s the ruin of the self-deceived to view themselves more highly than they ought. Similarly, it’s the shortcoming of the upright to think less of ourselves than we should. We must cease the endless thoughts or beliefs that invalidate ourselves. We possess the power to be at peace with ourselves.
Be at peace, especially with yourself.
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May 17, 2020
Hello, i just want to thank you for sharing.